Editorial: Death offers us a time of reflection

Death often comes as a shock and leads us to reflect on friendships, the fleeting nature of life, and, of course, our own mortality. So it was in the past week when our town lost a beloved leader with the passing of Tommy Hill and our family lost a dear – but sometimes eccentric – relative when Fred Gray found his eternal rest.

Tommy grew up in Clarendon and was known by almost everyone in town. He was friendly, hard-working, and had a huge heart for other people and especially for his family. He did his best to support every worthwhile endeavor in this town and always wanted our community to thrive. He’d buy a raffle ticket for just about anything, but he always wanted Brenda’s name on it. “She’s luckier than I am,” he would say.
He served for multiple terms on the Clarendon City Council, always looking out for the taxpayer and doing his best to make sure the city stayed fiscally conservative.

At times, some of his positions and votes were not popular and sometimes he drew fire from this column. The criticism was never meant to be personal, and as best as I could ever tell, he never took it personally. No matter how hard an editorial might be on him or the action he supported, he still came into the newspaper office to visit, still smiled, and still assured us that it was all going to be alright.

Unlike a lot of politicians these days, Tommy knew people could disagree but still be friends. He did his job as an alderman as best he could and did what he thought was right. I did my job covering the news on page one and giving my opinion on page two, and other people, including Tommy might disagree with that opinion. But we were still friends; he’d still shake your hand.

And what hard-working hands he had. Rough and callused, the hands of a carpenter, who spent a lifetime earning a living through manual labor. I’ll always remember those hands, his smile, and his sense of humor. But most of all I’ll remember his commitment to loving his family and his community.

Freddy Gray was a different character. He had his own sense of humor – sometimes witty, often raunchy, and usually inappropriate. If Fred did not offend you at some point, your turn just hadn’t come up yet.
That’s not to say that I didn’t love the man. I most certainly did. It took a bit of time because I didn’t know how to take him at first, but I soon came to value Fred as a deep thinker, a man that you could have a conversation with about almost anything from science to religion to politics to history. We sometimes clashed but often agreed or at least understood the other’s point of view.

You never knew what was going to come out of Fred’s mouth or what was going to come out of his pen as a columnist and journalist. As an editor, I just tried to keep him from going of the rails when he got wound up. I admired his passion though. He would take stances that weren’t popular – opposing the PVC crosses in town and the Ten Commandments monument, for example – and he would also take strong positions on child abuse and other subjects of the day. He loved Donley County and its people. He firmly believed that this is the best place with the best people on earth.

Fred, for all his bluster and all his penchant for shocking people, could also be very thoughtful and insightful. During the darkest time in my career, he recognized how covering a gruesome case of child abuse had affected me, and he was one of the people closest to me who helped me through that. He was a friend when I needed one the most, and I always tried to be that friend for him after that.

“It was fun. Off to Claude for my death,” Fred texted me a week before his passing. It was his way of telling me his end was near. I was blessed to get to spend time with Fred before the end came so we could both tell each other what we meant to each other, but we weren’t saying anything we didn’t already know.

Fred did not want to die, but he did not fear it. Several years ago, he had had a near-death experience. One night, he told me about it – the white light that we all have heard stories about. But what stood out in his memory were the intense feelings of calm and warmth and love and the realization that he was not afraid.
Fred and Tommy are in that place now – no fear, no pain, only love and joy. Let’s live our lives to the fullest and remember that it will most definitely be alright.

Meanwhile…

The Donley County Democratic Party held a “No Kings” coffee and tea party last Saturday, June 14, as small part of a larger movement across the nation in opposition to some of President Trump’s policies.

There was no violence or drama at the local gathering. Just a group of people who disagree with the majority on some issues, and that’s alright. Some social media comments were not so friendly, and those opinions are okay as well. But somehow, someway we have to get back to being civil. We’re not going to get that from our government leaders, but We the People have to start respecting each other and listening to each other. United we stand; divided we fall.